Give him the works! THE WORKS! THE WORKS!

I have a house guest coming in the morning! That makes two! Two house guests! 'a-'a-'ah! I feel a bit bad for my first guest because she was a total tester. I moved into my house like 3 days before and it was so not ready for other eyes. Actually, at one point we ate dinner on a mid-section of dinner-table held by an upturned box. It was rough. But oooh-ho-ho-ho no! Not this time! I have a table! Sofas! HBO?! I'm treating this guest like a minor KING! I'm gonna be all "Would you like some ice with that?" and "No it's fine! Have the last cookie!" and "CHARGE IT!" Because I didn't have a fair shot the first time 'round. I'm going to make sure people KNOW my house is where its at! It'll be total shenanigans. But only if he wants it! I'm just that kind of host.