Beauty and the Bigamist

Disney movies are known for leaving holes in their storylines. People or explanations that would be pertinent to the story are sometimes wholly unaddressed. (Like, where was Andy's dad in Toy Story? Where did Jasmine learn those kick-ass high-jump moves in Aladdin? or Wouldn't Nala be Simba's 1/2 sister if Mufasa was the only lion in the pride?) I was watching Beauty and the Beast yesterday and thought, "Where's Belle getting all these gowns from...? I don't recall her packing an overnight bag." 's odd, right? I've come up with a possible plot plug.

What if when Beast was a douchebag prince he had some kind of live-in lady. And after he told that beggar woman to f*ck off she was turned into like, a spoon or something, like everyone else. And Beast didn't mess with her anymore because, cummon, how's that gonna work? Or worst yet, what if she was just edited out because she didn't want to mess with (*whispers) beastly penis..! I think the most telling clue of this is young Chip. Mrs. Potts is way too old to have a cup that age. I know it's France, but let's be realistic. Anyway, Belle doesn't seem to mind, and just goes from scene to scene wearing that jilted dame's clothes. And how convenient Belle's the same size... Looks like SOMEbody's got a type...