Sometimes I get jealous. Recently I was brushing my teeth at the foot of someone's bed. And across from me was a collage of clippings and curios. (And let me just say I wasn't snooping! It was just something for my eyes to do while "single-handedly" fighting plaque.) Among the images I see a lipstick-kissed card tucked behind a photo and I thought, "What thick-lipped COW does something like that?! Tacky much? I bet her breath smells like old hats..." I stood to spit when I saw it was a message from me from six months earlier. I felt awful. Embarrassed that I jumped to conclusions. And also self-conscious that I apparently have slutty lips.
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