Boob-length hair

I've always had this dream of having boob-length hair. Not that I want to go around town inconspicuously topless, but I would certainly like to reserve the right to. 'Cause boob-length hair is good for so much! Hiding spill stains, playing make believe, old-timey japanese robberies, ...distracting attention from your smallish boobs. (YOUR smallish boobs!) Right now I'm nearly there, but it's still not good enough to keep me out of jail. I'm hoping that this time next year people will think twice before realizing, "That ain't no well-fitting brown shirt!" And that the makeshift mask I make with my hair as I run away will be convincing enough to protect my reputation.