And moreover, FINALLY!

I'm an official titled employee!  I recently got a type of promotion and qualified for these boasting notes!  I only got a box so think hard before you beg me for one. Maybe for your birthday.  Or special favo[u]rs.

Call me!

Finally!

Justice! Restitution for all those shattered sandwiches.  I gave them an earful and they gave me a mouthful. Who's the SmartOne now? ...YOU'RE petty!

Today, in [fake] news!

Headline: "It's that time of year again: Diminutive farmers make treacherous trip up Mt. Breakfast for annual Chex harvest. "